54. Nurturing a Sense of Security in Marriage & Family - with Rich and Val.

A Sense of SECURITY is a Fundamental Building Block in the Pursuit of Wholeness - the wholeness of an individual and of a relationship.
What if you had someone in your life who was fully committed to your wholeness as a person, someone who sacrificially pursued your sense of security every single day? How would that impact your ability to thrive? To stay encouraged? To pursue God's big and small purposes for your life? Today, we're looking at the important building block that is GIVING THE GIFT OF SECURITY to those you love. Our examples are regarding marriage, but you can take these principles and apply them to parenthood TO HELP YOUR CHILD THRIVE because of a sense of security. 
In this episode I'm joined by your favorite host, and my all-time favorite person, my husband Rich.  

Episode 54 is one more building block in helping those you love THRIVE and grow closer to  WHOLENESS as an individual and WHOLENESS in your relationship.

Relational Security- Security within your RELATIONSHIP 

• TRANSPARENCY- My spouse has the confidence that I am being open, fully honest, disclosing everything. It is vulnerable accountability and a commitment to complete truth.  "Usually the things that I don't want to bring up... are the exact things that I need to bring up."  "If you are fully, vulnerably honest with me... that gives me a real sense of security that I can really trust you."
• Maintaining agreed upon BOUNDARIES to honor the relationship 
• Avoiding the self-protection trap - a barrier to oneness
• DEFENDING the one you love- "My level of defense for you reflects my value of you."
• GENTLENESS- treat their emotions and vulnerability with tenderness; not using what they say against them, not manipulating. Respecting, treasuring,  "I'm a gentle cheerleader of the fact that you are willing to be transparent."

Provisional Security- Security in material aspects of life

• INCOME STABILITY- Healthy work/home balance, maintaining stability in job, partnering in position changes or potential job changes. 
• FINANCES- Common financial goals and strategies (spending limits, budgeting, use of debt, etc.)
• MAINTAINING OUR RESOURCES- Honoring each other by each fully participating in keeping our things in good repair and manageable.

Family Security- Security regarding how we manage our family

• PARENTING- each parent equally engaged in raising children, identifying concerns, developing character, imparting spiritual truths and development
• SYSTEMS- Driving kids places, scheduling, laundry, meals, the kids' chores, maintaining the home... There are many aspects that play a role in how smoothly life happens as a family.  It can be very demoralizing if only one parent is implementing the systems that help a family function with stability while the other parent is ignoring the systems or not contributing to the complex creating and maintaining of systems.
• LEGACY- "We're partnered together in our legacy, thinking long-term in impacting their view of God, themselves, relationships, family, work, citizenship, etc.

Resources:
Episode 8 Redeeming Your Marriage and Developing ONENESS - choosing God's BEST in our marriage
Episode 23 Negative Communication Habits & Communication Games that have Got to Go
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